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This is a first video that I made, edited and published. Quite an accomplishment for me, alongside of binding my first journal. I was actually pretty proud of myself. It goes to show me, that even though the product might have not been so great, I had a lot of fun going throw the process. And if it helps anyone in any way, then it’s just an added bonus.
There are two other teachers that have left a profound change on me, and I admire greatly, Flora Bowley and Mindy Murphy Lacefield. As I am always struggling to find my own way in painting, I am often reminded by them to stay in a place of uncertainty, to wait as long as I can to make a final decision.
But lately, I just started to make my marks and wait out the whole process, not wanting to commit to anything, I just stay patiently in a place of uncertainty. It can be a beautiful place, but it can be a somewhat frustrating experience. But what oftentimes emerges is worth waiting for.
So I was finally told about this. Brimfield happens 3 times a year in Massachusetts near Sturbridge Village. On line you can find it under http://www.brimfieldshow.com. I came completely unprepared. I had no cash, because I was not going to spent any money, I just wanted to ogle. First of all, you need at least $5 for parking, unless you come super early, like about 6am and can grab a spot on the side of the street I suppose. And then of course, you end up spending money. Because no matter how much you try not to, you will find something that you like or fall in love with. Luckily there was an ATM and even though I came relatively late, I still found a parking lot that was not completely full.
First I found a tent full of hand made shirts and dresses that were absolutely divine, and I promised myself, that if I don’t buy anything else, I would come back and get at leas one. That presented another challenge. Because the place is so huge, I would have probably found it too hard to come back to the same place.
It turned out I did not have to do that, because I found what I really came for, and did not believe I would find it. First, it was a tent full of broken clock parts and faces, I filled up a small bag, $10. I really don’t know how to bargain.
The next trap was an African shop, well, the owner really lived in NY, but because the Big Apple might be just as far away from me as Africa, I made sure I stocked up, This one was only $5, and I did not even have to bargain.
And the next stop was Neat Stuff. I was pretty exhausted from shlepping around, but my mind pricked up when I found it. I was caring tall bobbin pins, while feverishly trying to figure out how to mount them so I can use them to put my disorderly pile of Washi tape in order, and then suddenly dropped them to the ground when I saw this – wooden Chinese carved stamps.
The ones that I always admired, but never new how to get my hands on. I was frantically trying to figure out how to only pick the ones that I liked the most, and not break my bank account at the same time. This place actually took credit cards. And since, I say it again, I can’t bargain, well I don;t even attempt to, I knew I was lost. I managed to spend only $60. So the whole trip was $80, I am including the parking, but that was going to become painless, after what I was going to create with all these goodies, and here is some sampling from my fun Wednensday afternoon.
I have taken many workshops in the past two years when I embarked on this more intense creative journey. I think taking workshops with all these wonderful artists/women is mostly about being inspired. Connecting with other artist primes us not to be the duplicators, but to see all the possibilities there are and helps us grow and ripen into more authentic self. My second on line course I took was with Christy Tomlinson, and I did so much since then, but she still inspires me. Her warm selfless soul touches and helps so many women around her. She coined the phrase She Matters and it’s meant to empower all women. I am now borrowing that phrase to name my painting.
Another artist I just recently found out about is Danielle Donaldson. She also has a blog to inspire and empower women through creativity. As I was reading her blog I stumbled on this post that truly inspired me to write this one. You can read it on her blog or in here –
“I don’t often share deep, meaningful stories. And, well, I am not going to start now.
But sometimes the right words fall into place and capture something. A conversation, an overwhelming moment of goodness. BIG. HUGE. colorful epiphanies.
I realized the someone I love gets me way more than I thought. Way more than I gave credit for. And things are just good.
So I finally figured out that it is all about surrounding yourself with the right peeps. And being very aware of the wrong peeps.
surround yourself with those who see your weaknesses as strengths, not your strengths as weaknesses
hurt, not angry
caring, not “too sensitive”
guarded, not bitter
thoughtful, not worried
strong, not weak
quiet, not absent
It may not make any sense to anyone but me. that’s ok. it may mean something entirely different to you. but i hope you know that you are full of all sorts of good stuff. don’t let anyone tell you differently. with their words or actions.
I think she is so right to write this. We sometimes forget how important it is for our wellbeing to surround ourselves with people that support us, because as women and the prime nurturers of life, our healing can only happen from strength, not weakness, and empowering ourselves will only strengthen the shining light that we can emanate to others.
Happy Mother’s Day,
celebrate the mother in you, or the one you have.
When my darling pug Rocky passed away last year in November, I was devastated. I painted many images of me and him, expressing my grief, and it help me to pass the time in mourning and also to sort my thoughts out. The one image that I love the most was hard to share, because as he was being cremated, I was sitting in a coffee shop near by and writing around the image whatever came to my mind. And so the page itself became very personal. I wanted to make it more public, so that I could see it myself as well, and not only on those occasions that I remember to look into my journal, and so I recreated the image, and here it is, and all my tender moments with Rocky in it. May you always be remembered, you will always be in my heart.
Most of the time I have an idea what I want to paint. I start seeing images in my head that want to make their way on a surface and with it an idea comes to mind. As I start to paint the fragmented images might change and form into an object or they stay dancing around on their own not wanting to associate with an idea. But as the “Leaves of Change” painting started to form I knew that I myself was going through a change. That change started long ago and I don’t think that it is ending yet. And I was reminded of these words from the author Mark Nepo.
Though it is understandable to pray to God to remove us from pain and confusion, God waits at the very heart of that pain and confusion, if we can “become our way through it. This growing with God causes the heart to blossom. So it might serve us better to pray for the wherewithal to endure the flare of earthly moods into what is central and sacred, the way the gold is melted at intense temperatures. It presses us into what is immediate and clear, the way that coal is pressed into a diamond. It wears us into what matters, the way the ocean wears the sharp edges from the mouth of a shell.
I have painted all my life. And like yoga, painting fits into the part of me where I can escape to another world. There is no time or space, just colors and shapes dancing together in unlimited possibilities. Bright colors, dark colors and the many shades in between create a mood, a stark contrast and interplay of emotions.
I think that every time we look at something beautiful, like a sunrise or fireworks, we connect with the eternal, the joyful godlike self. And we want to preserve the moment. We take a picture in our minds, and hope we can hold on to both the image itself and the way that it made us feel inside. Artists take a different route by expressing the beautiful moment through painting, drawing, sculpting and other mediums in order to preserve the image. But because every individual perceives life’s experiences in different ways, there are a myriad of possibilities of what will come out on the canvas. Our artistic expression is also shaped by the medium that we use, the camera settings, or the words that we choose to describe the moment. Possibly, it’s never exactly what we saw, and chasing after the ideal can become maddening. I think that nature is always the ultimate master, but by continuing to practice our art we can bring ourselves closer to the divinity of life’s precious moments.