Happy New Year

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dtl-smallSo many thing have suddenly changed for me this year. I found myself fleeing a relationship that was ending for a long time, and setting up a camp in a new town. Everything that I depended on, everything that supported me in the past 6 years, being a home, hope or a castle on a sand, finally came crashing down. I felt like I had no string to hold on to anymore and my dreams of far away places no longer sustained me.

I usually don’t like to put labels on things, but codependency was no longer an option for me. I could say I have suddenly outgrown it like an old dress that you keep trying on, and suddenly the seams come apart and it falls to the ground next to you feet. You look down, and there it is, you pick up the pieces and think, maybe I mend something out of it, maybe a friendship?

 

 

 

I was also secretly nursing an old heartbrake, maybe for a hope of some tangible love I sometimes new, but that hope was riding on such a thin line, so thin, that a butter knife could cut through it, and so being the drama queen I sometimes can show up to be, I put an axe to it.

the-soul-intention And so suddenly, all the drama left my life. I had to ask myself, did I actually need it fuelompo-small me, to feed my art experience in this life? I remember relying on the pain for so much art inspiration, I could no longer ignore it. Would this new found quiet be the demise of my artistic journey? But a solitude and quiet can be so much inspiration for just being, knowing and living in this place, which is truly beautiful and calming to my soul. There are so many other challenges in life I can embrace instead of just filling myself up with drama. I know as a gemini being still and quiet without hearing voices propelling me to do something truly out of this world substantial is very hard for me, but, hmm, maybe I am ready for the challenge.

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10 thoughts on “Happy New Year

    Svenska said:
    January 18, 2017 at 1:01 pm

    ~<3~Renata, I wish you all the best in your new home and look forward to witnessing all that comes from your new found peace. You're such an inspiration and I feel blessed to have connected with you that lovely day in the fairy garden! Rock on beautiful soul!

    Like

      renataloree responded:
      January 18, 2017 at 1:16 pm

      Thank you Heidi, you are such a kind and beautiful soul, I also feel blessed to have met you. I hope to visit you soon in the new year ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    Marie said:
    January 18, 2017 at 1:01 pm

    Dear Renata,
    You are brave. I love your works. You inspire me.
    Love and hughs
    Marie

    Like

    renataloree responded:
    January 18, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    Thank you Marie ❤ ❤ ❤

    Like

    Corie said:
    January 18, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    Wishing for you the best balance of peace and excitement in your life.

    I have to say that your current art is quite possibly more interesting to me than what you were doing before and definitely every bit as beautiful!

    Like

    renataloree responded:
    January 18, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    Thank you Corie for saying that <3, bless you ❤

    Like

    thowie2015 said:
    January 19, 2017 at 9:41 am

    Thank you for your beautiful post Renata, it reminds me to be true. True to myself. My admiration for you, and your words run quite deep. I’ve always loved your work, but as others have pointed out, there is a new and very strong Renata here today. My wish for you is simple, bliss, may it surround you, and hold you up, may you, and your extraordinary talent continue to thrive. And may future posts be just as real, and may. Not a day go by without the love you project coming back to you ten fold. Blessings to you, with much love, and hope for an even better tomorrow.

    Like

      renataloree responded:
      January 20, 2017 at 1:12 pm

      Thank you so much for your kind and beautiful words. They are like wings of fresh air and I will cherish them on my new journey. Much love to you.

      Like

    Steph said:
    February 4, 2017 at 4:00 am

    How inspiring , I am now at this same cross road and need to change my life. A scary leap . Your art is amazing

    Like

      renataloree responded:
      February 4, 2017 at 4:12 am

      Thank you Stephanie, I love your art as well. Good luck on your new path 😊

      Like

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